fulfilled.

On Saturday night, for the very first time ever, I played the piano in a church of Christ worship.

It was a pretty powerful experience.

I was nauseatingly nervous before. I mean, in what other universe would I be standing alone on stage with Rick Atchley, playing a solo and making up background music on the spot? What if I messed up the transitions, messed everyone else up, made a fool of myself? What if I went up on stage too early or too late and got glared at by Rick Atchley? (haha, band people were teasing me about that, but it wasn't quite so funny at the time, I promise.) WHAT IF LIGHTNING STRUCK?

Praying with band members beforehand really helped.

Having a pure hearted singer stand in my line of sight almost the whole time and watching her sing her heart out, out of the corner of my eye helped.

Seeing my husband, children's and sister's shining, worshiping faces in the audience helped.

But when the music began, I pretty much forgot everything but the music and the words, and who they were going to. I'd like to think I was doing my part leading worship and ministering to the people through my playing.

I'd like to think that I have finally been able to thank God for the gifts He has given me and offer them back to Him with my whole heart.

People at that church keep telling me I'm a blessing to them, but what they don't understand is that they're blessing me more than I could ever bless them. I was shriveling up inside my soul and they have watered and fed me God's words and spirit. They have given me back my music.

Perhaps the best part was afterwards, when a family who used to attend a different church with us not so long ago, came up to me and said, "When you started playing, we thought - this is exactly what she needs to be doing." They were obviously so happy for me, that I have found my little place to minister.

It meant so much, coming from them. It meant so much that they understood.

I'll never forget my first time.